I recently reached out to a friend of mine who let me ramble on for some time about all my woes. The kids aren’t listening to me, the dishes are piling up, I’m tired of providing three healthy meals a day, I’m a terrible teacher, and the screen time is doubling if not tripling during our stay-home hiatus.
My friend Amy Alvarez, a clinical social worker who specializes in working with pregnant women and new parents, was of course insightful about how I was sabotaging my own self-care. By not taking time to feel all these emotions and accepting that it’s okay to have some fails during these days, I was creating more anxiety. She was so insightful that I asked if she would share some of her wisdom, which she kindly did below. I’m filing it away for the next time I think life has to go a certain way during a pandemic.
You can also reach out to her for a tele-conference any time you need a little one-on-one, and she is lately having a lot of conversations about parenting during a pandemic. You can reach her at: https://www.brennanbehavior.com/amy-alvarez-lcsw
Self-Care for Parents of Young Children During Social Distancing
This is a tough time for almost everyone, but parents of young children may feel extra stressed – how do you balance the needs of your energetic toddler with the stay-at-home order?
The answer? Be emotionally generous to yourself. Many of us have an ongoing loop in our heads telling us everything we’re doing is wrong. Consider some of the statements on YOUR loop. Maybe you are thinking:
– I’m not creative enough.
– I should be doing more.
– My child is acting out or regressing, which means I’m doing a bad job as a parent.
Now, imagine your best friend is having a tough time because her toddler stopped using the potty and is crying all the time because he can’t go to his favorite playground. Would you say these negative things to your friend? Of course not! You’d likely say something like:
– You’re doing the best you can under a lot of stress.
– This is really tough.
– There’s always a chance to try again tomorrow.
We are enduring an unprecedented shift in our culture – shouldn’t our expectations of ourselves shift, as well? If you want to use this time to clean up the yard and paint the kitchen, go for it. But we as a society are grieving right now – grieving for the losses we are enduring, and worried about the future. Grief is hard work – it’s okay to rest.
Cuddle your children. Read them a story, sit on the floor and play with legos, dress up the cat in an American Girl outfit. You don’t need to become anything more than the parent you are right now. Your best is good enough. YOU are good enough.
– Amy Alvarez, LCSW-BACS/MPH
Clinical and Forensic Social Worker
504-833-6730
About Amy:
Amy Alvarez, LCSW-BACS/MPH holds two master’s degrees and a certificate in Forensic Social Work from Tulane University. Amy also completed a fellowship in Infant Mental Health with LSU School of Psychiatry and has received advanced training in perinatal mood disorders. Amy specialized in working with expectant mothers and families with children from 0 – 5 year of age. She also provides psychotherapy to teens and adults for the treatment of adjustment and mood disorders.
Amy practices with Brennan and Associates, a behavior specialty group that offers a variety of services to children and families in the Greater New Orleans Area. At this time of social distancing, Amy offers telehealth services through a secure and confidential video platform. Prospective clients are invited to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation with Amy. She can be reached at aalvarez@brennanbehavior.com.
